Cana 4:15 p.m. Local Time
I'm standing now at the supposed sight of an actual miracle, allegedly performed by Jesus of Nazareth, now known widely by another name: the Son of David. This new title has caused some confusion among the lesser educated, prompting ridiculous questions about his parentage, but that is par for the course in an election of such importance.
Jesus is said to have performed many miracles during his campaign, but it appears he may have gotten an earlier start. The setting? A wedding feast. Like many wedding feasts, this one got particularly excited about the wine. The way the story goes, they were running short, right when the celebration was really starting to get going.
Rather than go into a panic, they took the advice of one of the guests, who sent them to Jesus for instruction. We have a witness here to testify to the events of that evening.
“Ok, so I was like in the back with the wine jars because I was like in charge of the wine for this wedding, you know?”
“You were the wine steward?”
“Well, no. Not really, but I was his right hand man, you know?”
“Uh, ok….”
“Anyway, so we were like out of wine, and it was right at that point where the party really gets going. It was a disaster. We had no idea what to do and then this lady hears about it and she drags Jesus into the kitchen and starts telling everyone what to do and he’s like asking her how it’s his problem and she just gives him that mom look, you know? And he tells us to fill the jars with water. And we do it because like, what else are we going to do? Nobody else had any ideas. So we fill these jars, right? And then Jesus says a blessing and then calls in the steward and has him taste it, and I kid you not, it was the best wine he had ever tasted.”
“Thank you, sir, for sharing your story with us tonight.”
There you have it, folks. ou heard it here first, what could possibly be the debut miracle performed by Messianic candidate Jesus of Nazareth, or Bethlehem, or wherever he’s from.
There are, of course, many critics of the water-to-wine story. Many people just don’t believe, but then there are the stolid few, who come out and tell everyone what they saw (and tasted) with unnerving confidence.
En vino veritas? Who knows? What we do know is that this is one story that will be making the rounds for quite awhile.
Jonah Ammitai, Good News Weekly, reporting.
I'm standing now at the supposed sight of an actual miracle, allegedly performed by Jesus of Nazareth, now known widely by another name: the Son of David. This new title has caused some confusion among the lesser educated, prompting ridiculous questions about his parentage, but that is par for the course in an election of such importance.
Jesus is said to have performed many miracles during his campaign, but it appears he may have gotten an earlier start. The setting? A wedding feast. Like many wedding feasts, this one got particularly excited about the wine. The way the story goes, they were running short, right when the celebration was really starting to get going.
Rather than go into a panic, they took the advice of one of the guests, who sent them to Jesus for instruction. We have a witness here to testify to the events of that evening.
“Ok, so I was like in the back with the wine jars because I was like in charge of the wine for this wedding, you know?”
“You were the wine steward?”
“Well, no. Not really, but I was his right hand man, you know?”
“Uh, ok….”
“Anyway, so we were like out of wine, and it was right at that point where the party really gets going. It was a disaster. We had no idea what to do and then this lady hears about it and she drags Jesus into the kitchen and starts telling everyone what to do and he’s like asking her how it’s his problem and she just gives him that mom look, you know? And he tells us to fill the jars with water. And we do it because like, what else are we going to do? Nobody else had any ideas. So we fill these jars, right? And then Jesus says a blessing and then calls in the steward and has him taste it, and I kid you not, it was the best wine he had ever tasted.”
“Thank you, sir, for sharing your story with us tonight.”
There you have it, folks. ou heard it here first, what could possibly be the debut miracle performed by Messianic candidate Jesus of Nazareth, or Bethlehem, or wherever he’s from.
There are, of course, many critics of the water-to-wine story. Many people just don’t believe, but then there are the stolid few, who come out and tell everyone what they saw (and tasted) with unnerving confidence.
En vino veritas? Who knows? What we do know is that this is one story that will be making the rounds for quite awhile.
Jonah Ammitai, Good News Weekly, reporting.